This was written for my creative writing class in college. I don't write poetry often (read:never) but this one kind of turned out okay I think. Written in 2014. ~~~ City Privilege Heralston, a home to farmers, laborers, and housewives Doesn’t quite know what to do with itself today. The skies shed their tears and grumble in angst, Alongside those who have come from far away To mourn the death of their beloved school teacher. The grocery store is closed for the day. Susan and Paul are both seated in the church, Next to George, the resident mechanic. I sit in the back, narrowly avoiding the gaze of a man Whose sister once pretended to be my friend. Helen, my former babysitter, smiles at me. Most of these faces look familiar, But I’m only here at my mother’s request. I lower my gaze and stare at my hands, Wondering how long I’m staying this time. This town, where you can’t buy liquor on Sundays, And the coffee shop is closed on the weekends, Offers no real comfort now. I feel out of place, like my privilege in the city Has gifted me a third arm solely for them to covet. They think they hide their sneers, but I still hear, Even in my mother’s tone when I call her on Sundays. The gospel hymns, as cheerful as they sound, Do little to mend the bitterness in my heart. The teacher, who now lies still at the altar, Has brought this room together, for better or worse. Forty three years of teaching is no small feat, But I wonder what she could have accomplished If she’d been brave enough to leave her family behind.
This post should really be called 'fuck off, I was only 16 when I wrote this' or even 'why am I even posting this?' Those are both more indicative of the shitty writing coming your way. Written in 2008-ish. Characters that were featured in my first NaNoWriMo (that should tell you just how fabulous this piece is). ~~~ My head dropped as I saw the expression on his face. Jacob was furious but he had every right to be. He rose from the overstuffed throne as my mind riddled itself with questions. What kind of lover am I? I mean, I ran away. I always thought as a kid, 'What kind of incapable bastard (a.k.a. My ever loving father) could run away like that?" And now I'm just like him. After all of those years I turned out to be the person I hated the most. How screwed up is that? Slowly, almost grudgingly, I made my way to him, like a little kid that didn't want to leave home, to leave their safe haven. Truth be told, I had expected a lot worse. I expected the mage, and ruler of this country, to snap and throw things at me. "Where have you been? I've been worried sick." he stated simply. And so the guilt began. I couldn't respond to him. I just didn't have the heart. "Please..." His eyes begged me. They tore right through me. Finally, after a moment of contemplation I broke. I fell into his arms. Jacob broke me and he damn well knew it. "I didn't know what to do," I lied. I knew what I should have done. I should have told him. My head pounded. That tended to happen when my conscience was screaming at me to do the right thing. Tears filled my eyes but I wasn't about to let them out. Not in front of him. If it had been anyone else I wouldn't have even come back. He had to give me some credit for that. I really didn't even know why I came back here. His arms wrapped around me, pulling me to his chest. Now I remember. With my head against his shoulder I closed my eyes and inhaled the scent I had missed so much. You don't realize how long the days seem when all you try to do is not think about the person you need the most in your life. "What do you mean by that?" He chuckled and kissed the crown of my head, "What didn't you want to tell me?" Jacob had known me long enough to hear why I had run away from so many others. "I was beginning to worry you weren't coming back." At least he's in a better mood, I thought bitterly. I couldn't exactly say that I was. "I didn't think I was." He frowned at me. My voice rose a little higher than I had intended it to, "Jacob, you can't just have illegitimate children on the side. You're the God-forsaken king!" "Then marry me." He didn't miss a beat. He knew. The bastard knew and didn't tell me. Of course I couldn't really think ill of the man that changed my life in so many ways, but still, why didn't I think of that? He's a mage for crying out loud. He knows these things. I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I forgot about the whole 'I'm a mage. I know things other people don't" thing. Then again, what can I say? I'm still just a city girl in a world that's not my own. "Be the blushing bride at my side, be the queen of this country, be my wife." Honestly, the last part scared me to death but I wasn't about to admit that. "I don't think you understand the gravity of this whole situation." I grumbled. Really, isn't it kind of early to be thinking about that? Sure Jacob and I have known each other for a little over three years, but we've only really had this kind of relationship for maybe a sixth of that time. Now he grumbled, "What do you think I did while you were gone? Not work, I assure you." How his hands wound up in my hair still eludes me but nonetheless his lips found mine. I was still too tired in too much of a foul mood to kiss back but I'm pretty sure he knew that, being the wizard he is and all. "I'm in love with you and I'm asking you to marry me." His patience was wearing thin with me I could tell. Or maybe it was just the anticipation of my answer. "So...Will you?" "Jacob, I..." I saw the tension in his eyes as I spoke, finally I grinned and kissed him, my arms finally snaking around his waist, "Okay, your intentions are good, but the approach needs a little bit of work." He grinned now. "Is that a yes?" And for the first time since I had discovered what was taking place within me, I laughed, I truly laughed, "Of course it is." If the guard hadn't interrupted us we could have stayed like that for quite awhile, "Um, sire?" Poor guy didn't want to. Jacob's head snapped up but he didn't let go of me. Probably afraid I would leave again, "Yes?" The guard didn't raise his head. He was too ashamed of interrupting us, "Well, there's a visitor here. He said that he didn't necessarily have to meet with you today." He chuckled, "Just send him in." "Should I go?" I asked timidly. I kind of already knew the answer. I just didn't expect the delivery of the answer. A low growl escaped his chest sending a shiver down my spine, "No." He pressed his forehead to mine, “Sorry,” “You're right to want to keep an eye on me.” I admitted sheepishly. I watched the door creaked open then a dark shadow followed by its owner stepped in the room. His silky sweet voice rang out in the room as Jacob and I broke apart, “Am I interrupting something?” Some thing wasn't right about him but I couldn't put my finger on it. “No, not that we can't finish up later.” He glanced at me uneasily, signifying that he knew how I felt about the stranger in front of us, “What is your business here, traveler?” He grinned, “Please, your majesty, call me Fargo.” Fargo then bowed and continued, “I come bearing news about the small country of Shinra.” This time Jacob's smooth voice sounded unimpressed, “Care to share?” “We are entering a war soon, and have no supplies. We will make a generous offer for say, 200 weapons?” His dark eyes peered through his shoulder length hair at both me and Jacob. Jacob spoke cautiously, “I shall have to speak with the council.”
Setting: The beginning of an apocalypse in a big city. Groups have formed to try to contain the threats but they can only do so much. The demons come from another world and threaten to rip the lives of the citizens of Edenborough apart. Written in 2013-ish. ~~~ I couldn't tell you exactly why I felt safe with this man that I hadn't even known for twenty four hours but it might have had something to do with the fact that he'd saved my life. Ethan drove slowly, probably trying to limit our time with his raunchy brother. I hadn't quite warmed up to Evan as I had Ethan yet. Something about his sexual comments and bad first impressions. Not being able to bear the silence any longer I reached over and turned on the radio. I didn't ask. I figured if he didn't like it he could kick my ass out and make me walk. When he didn't complain I just let it stay on the station it was on, some rock station that I'd never listened to before. He seemed perfectly content and a part of me was thrilled by that. Hmm, who knew that I could live making other people happy. Then a thought struck me. "What made you pick nursing?" THe radio wasn't so loud that we couldn't hear each other. He glanced over at me and then back at the road. A tiny smirk splayed across his lips. "Do you really want to know?" I eyed him cautiously and nodded. "I'm not a good killing machine like my brother. He has no second thoughts but me... well, I do. Even if a demon is chasing me down, threatening me, and trying to kill me I always hesitate at least a little. They were all human at one point or another, some not so long ago. I want a way to save them, not send them to their graves for something that isn't their fault." I nodded slowly, mulling it over in my mind. I didn't have a response for that. Instead I looked it him out of the corner of my eye and nodded. He looked at me with his bright blue eyes, all the humor and happiness returning. "What about you? Why bookkeeping? Why not traveling the world or becoming an author?" I snorted. "Right, me, something meaningful. That's cute." Bitterness aside I continued on. "It fell into my lap really. I had worked at that bookstore for years. I started while I was still in school. One of the office ladies retired so they wanted to train me to fill in temporarily. Here I am six years later." I mused. "Not many people have life stories as boring as mine." "And yet here you are." He stated simply. No elaboration, no explanation, no reason. I turned in my seat and looked at him. "What do you mean by that?" We were nearly to the house and our conversation was winding down but I certainly didn't want it to. "You defended a group of mothers and their children, got attacked by a demon and lived to tell the tale." As we pulled up in front of the house he put it in park and stared at me. "Not many people have stories as interesting as yours." I didn't say anything until we got out of the car. Something about that irked me but I had no idea why.. Maybe I was still in denial about the whole demon thing or something. Before I pushed the door open I stopped on the step and turned to wait for him. "Thank you." I said simply, holding up the bag in my hand. He nodded and grinned at me. I pushed the door open, ready for Evan to have some snide comment about us being gone and alone together. Instead we didn't find him in the living room. Ethan turned to me as soon as he checked the kitchen. "Evan probably went to bed. He didn't have a nap like we did." I stood awkwardly in the middle of the living room, bag of goodies in hand. "Take my bedroom." When I opened my mouth to protest he raised a hand. "You have to work in the morning. I do not. I insist." Flustered, and not entirely pleased with him I made a face. He looked at me expectantly. "What are you waiting for? It's nearly 11:00. You need to sleep." Some part of me had a sick sense of humor. THat part of me took over for all of five seconds. "We can share the bed. I mean, it's big enough." He shook his head as he leaned in the doorway of the kitchen. Meow, Talk about modeling career. "Go to bed my dear Erin. You need to at least rest." That stupid part of my brain was still in high gear. "Are you gay?" There's one way to make you hate yourself.. Ethan looked a bit shocked at first then that damn smirk made an encore appearance. He sautered closer and closer to me, much like an animal stalking its prey. Close enough to feel the heat of his body, he finally stopped. "I assure you," he took a breath, "that I am very much not." He cupped a cheek in either hand and pressed his lips to mine, igniting a fire that hadn't been lit in a very long time. His actions were controlled and almost calculated but still enough to sweep me off my feet. I felt the cold air of the room reach my face again all too soon. "Go."